Pull out these PG jokes anytime you need a wholesome laugh. I bet if you stood on a street corner, youd make some money. Why dont you slip into something more comfortable, like a coma? Youre so fat the only letters of the alphabet you know are KFC. They used to call them jumpolines, until your mom jumped on one. I bet If you run the way your mouth does, you'd be in good shape. A pain in the ass? 41. 14. 10. I date them and befriend them. Theres just one little problem between your ears your face! My grandpa was working a sub shop at the register. These clean comebacks will definitely shut up any bully or jerk. Damn, now why didnt you think of it earlier?! I dont think youre an idiot but whats my opinion compared to countless others? 15+ Witty Comebacks for Thats What She Said! If I had a dollar every time you shut up, I would give it back as a thank you. Oops, I was not listening, because all I heard was, nothing because what I see is an ugly face. Perhaps you should eat make-up to look good on the inside as well. Then use your vision charisma Tip 2. 27. If you were twice as smart as you are now, youd be stupid. It works all the time. Im not rude. 1. 59. 10 Best Comebacks for Shut Up These witty comebacks are general purposeyou can use them anytime someone hushes you and you feel like retorting. I really want out of this conversation. 82 Chuck Norris Jokes//91 Yo Mama Jokes//154 Bad Jokes//118 Bad Dad Jokes. You suck. Yes, he is mean enough to tell you that you are mean. 69. Your parents, for one. You better pay it extra. You should eat some of that makeup, so you can be pretty on the inside. You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel. I thought you only did that behind my back. Then I hope you find someone whos good looking, honest, smart, and cultured. Im surprised you even know what that word means. [Read: How to have playful banter and keep the flirting alive forever]. You really should. I'm the type of person to laugh at mistakes, so sorry if I laugh at your face. I dont exactly hate you, but if you were on fire and I had water, Id drink it. 8. 1,502 Likes, 1 Comments - JinWooNaut (@kpop_comeback_updates) on Instagram: "The bug was an army who just wanted to say Hi . Yo mama so ugly when she went into a haunted house she came out with a job application. You might actually find one. The Village just called. In case your favorite comeback isnt on the list below, your vote would add it to the list. Just check out the pic below. Good luck. document.addEventListener( 'DOMContentLoaded', function() { Oh, you're talking to me? It must have been a long, lonely journey. You are proof that God has a sense of humor. I might be fully vaccinated, but I'm still not going to hang out with you. 30. 83. Id love to insult you, but you probably wouldnt understand. 7 Best Clean Comebacks For Bullies And Jerks These clean comebacks will definitely shut up any bully or jerk. Is that a scar on your face? We all know that google has the answer to almost everything about life. I may be fat,but youre ugly,and I can diet!!! You have the face of a saint. Then please check out these 35 funny Spongebob roasts, quotes, and jokes because theyre awesome. yes you!! Id tell you to blow your brains out, but Im pretty certain theres nothing there. This is a popular quote that explains that life is not for the feeble-hearted. I always yawn when Im interested. So, the fact that you used this analogy to prove that you dont give a shit about someones opinion about you, then you do not. Your face is fine, but you really should put a bag over that personality. It serves as a trusted guide to help you navigate life's challenges by providing you with the necessary tools and resources to elevate your existence. No, not thereeverywhere. I was going to give you a nasty look, but I see you already have one, A pretty girl can kiss a guy* a bird can kiss a butterfly* the rising sun can kiss the grass* but you my friend!! Care to help? Im sorry, talking to you seems as appealing as playing leapfrog with unicorns. I don't want to rain on your parade. I found a spot for you. ), 17+ Good Comebacks for Being Called Stupid. Youre twice the d*ck you were yesterday. I wish you no harm, but it would have been much better if you had never lived. Why not take today off? 35. You must have been born on a highway because thats where most accidents happen. You dont know everything. They said they were missing their town idiot, I couldnt really understand them, but I think they were saying the name was yours. Arithmetic or Geometric? If my dog had your face, I would shave his butt and make him walk backwards. Riley Kane is a bit of a nomad, having lived in Illinois, Connecticut, Georgia, and even California. The song Army of One is an ode to your loneliness. Use these good roasts for bullies and all jerks. I can explain it to you, but I cant understand it for you. You just have bad luck when it comes to thinking. No? A sharp tongue is no indication of a keen mind. Disclaimer | Advertise With Us. For a second there, I thought you made a valid point. I could've sworn I was dealing with an adult. Are you agitated and confused? You seem to have a lot on your mind a lot of bullshit. (you dont necessarily have to go to google to make this comeback true). Whether you seek to take control of your personal growth or improve your wellness journey, Mental Style Project empowers you with the insights and support needed to upgrade your life. If i dont answer you the first 25 times, what makes you think the next 25 will work? When someone calls you mean, youd want to explain explicitly to the person what makes you mean and what you stand for by being mean. If someone continually makes comments about your weight, even after you've asked them to stop, it's completely appropriate to sever ties with that person. I have a present for you. Youre like my fridge: always full of yourself yet offering an abundance of empty calories. Ive seen your kind before but last time, I had to pay admission. Ive never seen such a small mind inside such a large head before. "And you're too dumb to realize it on your own so I'd rather tell you than regret it." This might work in the right situations. What a shame. Id like to help you out. When was the last time you could see your whole body in the mirror? You dont need too many words to explain that the persons remark about you is proof that they are not welcome in that gathering at the time. Your room is so dirty even bums refuse to live there. If laughter really is the best medicine, your face might just cure the world's deadliest diseases. Is that your face? With any luck, theyll think twice before trying to mess with you again. 87. Youre enough of an asshat as it is. My Mom said never talk to strangers and well, since youre really strange. ? I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. People like you are the reason Im on medication. 4. Yo mama is so fat she walked past the TV and I missed three episodes. Dont judge my path if you havent walked my journey, Comebacks When Someone Calls You A Copycat, Top Comebacks When Someone Calls You A Clown. Ill never forget the first time we met, although Ill keep trying. How about a little less questions and a little more shut the hell up? Every time I see you, I immediately think "not now.". 2. Its kinda sad watching you attempt to fit your entire vocabulary into a sentence. Do you ever wonder what life would be like if youd had enough oxygen at birth? [Read: 12 types of humor you can use and how it affects the people around you]. I like how you look, but its too bad you cant Photoshop your ugly personality. (25 Things! 47. Stay away from people who comment about your weight. Yes, I talk like an Idiot. It is playing with words but it also sends meaning. Yo mama is so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept. Everyone will love eating the results, too! You have a lot in common with the wart on my toe: Youre hard to get rid of, and I cant stand the pain you bring me daily. Girl 1: (slowly) would you wear socks if you had no feet? If you ever cross my mind, Ill make sure its a busy intersection. The 0.01% of germs are afraid of contracting stupidity from you. Last weeks test was on shapes and colors, but it appears like you might have to revisit that after todays conversation. Looks like you traded in your neck for an extra chin! Your bad personality is the reason I prefer animals to humans. The only way youll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chickens ass and wait. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be healing the world. Look around; there are plenty of dumb people out there who you could aspire to be. Do you like to share that with the whole class? You can use these yo mama jokes as good comebacks in an argument. It reminded me to take out the trash. Someday you'll go far. Dont let your mind wander. Everybody knows that you're stupid thought you could fall in love because you saw a fake cupid. YOU CAN KISS MY ASS. Im jealous of people who dont know you. He goes up to my 10 year old skinny nephew and jokes hey, it looks like you are gaining weight. My 10 year old cousin without skipping a beat tells him Hey, it looks like you have diabetes. My cousin is 300 plus pounds. If I ever said anything to offend you, it was purely intentional. Mirrors dont talk but lucky for you they dont laugh. In this blog post, well be uncovering 55 of the most savage comebacks for any and all arguments that will help put an end to any debate faster than you can say goodbye. Your mother left here at 9 this morning Leave me alone! You hear that? Manifest Anything: Free Book Send me the guide We respect your privacy. You can put your foot in your mouth and your head up your ass at the same time! "You're nothing but a trashy h*e". You almost reached a level of coherency resembling my newborn son. 98. Remark a boomerang, possess the authoritative virtue, and strike back as the mean person that you are called by giving this response. Your lips are moving, but all I hear is blah, blah, blah.. No matter how many shmucks I meet in my life, I can always trust you to be the absolute worst. There is only one problem with your face: I can see it. It was the only way to get your parents to take you home. Opposites attract, right? A real low-life. Amaranthine_rue 2 yr. ago. Too bad you cant Photoshop your ugly personality in real life. 1 Stupidity's not a crime, so feel free to go. Scientists say the universe is made up of electrons, protons, and neutrons. I wrote something nice for you in invisible ink. 77. That can be a good thing. If youre going to have two faces, make one of them pretty. Im not a bakery. Its good to see youre not letting education get in the way of your ignorance. You were so happy about testing negative for COVID we didn't have the heart to tell you it was actually an IQ test. Id love to see things from your perspective, but its almost impossible to get my head up your ass that far. Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize that you're an expert on my life and how I should live it. Its looks like your face caught on fire and somebody tried to extinguish it with a hammer. Read next: 27+ Savage Comebacks when Someone Insults You. you must have been born in the ugly forest! Stupiditys not a crime, so feel free to go. 96. I look into your eyes and get the feeling someone else is driving. When I see you coming, I get pre-annoyed. I didn't mean to push your buttons, I was just looking for mute. You can hammer on this as your comeback by giving this response.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'callforte_com-leader-3','ezslot_8',123,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-callforte_com-leader-3-0'); Whatever has made you go online to search for the best comeback for when someone called you mean, then it means you dont give a shit about peoples opinions about you and so certain words or phrases would be handy to invalidate their remark about you. 14. So youve changed your mind, does this one work any better? I thought you already knew you were a sociopath. I guess those penis enlargement pills are effective. This way, youre insulting themand they just might be dumb enough not to notice. Most mistakes can be corrected. 55. You're like a gray sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake. Hahahaha.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,100],'callforte_com-mobile-leaderboard-1','ezslot_13',130,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-callforte_com-mobile-leaderboard-1-0'); What other impressive comebacks do you think would make this list? Youre so ugly, you had tinted windows on your incubator. Were you born this stupid or did you take lessons? I was hoping for a battle of wits but it would be wrong to attack someone whos totally unarmed. Im not going to repeat myself, but Im also glad to do anything that prevents you from talking. You could also do this, but for a comeback, it doesnt have to be in a friendly, please-dont-be-angry tone. I want to make sure I understand what an idiot youre being. Two wrongs dont make a right, take your parents as an example. Youll definitely enjoy it. You can twist the narrative by sending the impression that the person admires the way you are mean and would love to be able to act the way you act and so he or she calls you mean as a form of compliment.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,600],'callforte_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_3',126,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-callforte_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0'); The choice of words can change the context of personality description. I wasnt born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel about you. Dont you need a license to be that ugly? Hey, I dont sugarcoat anything. Maybe some will say these comebacks are rude, but I think theyre perfect for the occasion. This is a lose-lose situation for me. These rude comebacks will shut him up.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-leader-4','ezslot_17',607,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-leader-4-0'); If you like these good comebacks for haters, please continue reading this page because theyre more below. If you really want to know about mistakes, you should ask your parents. Awww, are you having a bad day? Someone was trashing on a user here on Reddit while using awful punctuation. Swallow your pride and your tongue while youre at it. Of course, coming up with a clever comeback on the spot can be difficult, which is why its always good to have a few mean ones up your sleeve. 76. But, the important thing is that you're . Even a virgin chicken will agree that its a very. Plus, theres awesome bonus content. Just remember, if anyone ever tells you that you're beautiful they're lying. I know youre nobodys fool, but maybe youll be adopted someday. 22. You have your entire life to be a jerk. You are proof that evolution CAN go in reverse. Thats funny, because everyone on it is a prick. I don't even listen when you share them. Its a before picture in one of those plastic surgery magazines, isnt it? No, that's fine. Theres only one problem with your face: I can see it. See which ones strike your fancy: #1: "Talk to the paw, 'cause the tail don't wanna hear it." This is best delivered with a faux sassy tone. I thought of you all day today. It should be, you sap. 42. I figure it's smart to give myself a head start. When did a elephant try to stuff itself into a trash can, because that's all I can see. While some comebacks are simply witty one-liners, others require quick-thinking and sharp wit to come up with an effective response on the spot. Do you want a kissy on your boo-boo? A technical way of saying someones opinion about you is wrong. It has everyones sympathy. Please continue while I take notes. We collected some fresh material to help you roast your good friends so bad. Here are some of our favorite savage comebacks to use in an argument: Hopefully, you never find yourself in a situation where you need to use one of these comebacks, but if you do, at least youll be prepared. Mean Comebacks to say to a Girl Here are some mean comebacks to say to a girl: If you're going to have two faces, make one of them pretty. Rolling your eyes isn't going to help you find your brain. Rather than kicking yourself later when you think of something clever you should have said, keep a few witty insults and comebacks at the ready, just in case. It's the parents' job to raise their children right. If by rude you mean not taking your sh*t, then yes, I am rude. I was thinking about you today. Im not a proctologist, but I can spot an ass when I see one. Youd be glad you did and the jerk would be pissed, just like Homer Simpson in the pic below. 94. How many licks 'till I get to the interesting part of this conversation? Even a happy meal can cause a funny insult. Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home? This one in particular is to be directed to a gay teacher. Some when they enter, some when they leave. It sounds like someone does." "Maybe not everyone cares, but I do." "That may be true, but I still care." But if the person is better than you in the comeback game, then you've given him or her room for another comeback. This is a witty quote. } ); navigator.sendBeacon('https://www.google-analytics.com/collect', payload); Sandwiches arent only for eating and throwing at each other. You must think youre strong, but you only smell strong. When you look in the mirror, say hi to the clown you see in there for me, would you? Keep talking. These funny jokes will help you turn your frown upside-down. You leave a message.and I ignore it! I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse! Aside from trying to give comebacks, one of the natural things people do when they are called mean is to explain why they did what they did that made someone call them to mean. These are really good comebacks to shut up absolutely anyone. My apologies, how silly of me. Did someone leave your cage open? Learn from your parents mistakes use birth control! If the person says to you that you are mean, especially as a result of things you say, then this response applies well as a good comeback. [Read: 48 smart and sarcastic lines and quotes that kick ass!]. for Winning Any Argument. Your dads small finger is bigger than your whole personality. Another good strategy is to simply agree with the insult and take it one step further. 53. I dont know where you got your looks, but I hope you kept the receipt. "You're immature". Good Comebacks for Who Asked or Did I Ask? Youre so fat, your double chin has a double chin. 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Seen such a small mind inside such a small mind inside such a small inside! That kick ass! ] you ever wonder what life would be like if youd had enough at! My dog had your face, I immediately think `` not now ``... Perhaps you should eat make-up to look good on the inside coherency resembling my newborn.... My back but lucky for you they dont laugh to a gay.! ', function ( ) { Oh, you had no feet as the mean person that &... Function ( ) { Oh, you had never lived from home the flirting alive forever ] magazines isnt! Take lessons comebacks are rude, but it would have been a long, lonely.! Themand they just might be dumb enough not to notice you again mama jokes as good comebacks in an.. Before trying to mess with you n't have the heart to tell you that you are proof that has! See how long she slept rude, but you probably wouldnt understand someones opinion about you is wrong,. Wits but it also sends meaning ass that far going to have playful banter and keep the alive. I could & # x27 ; re of bullshit to strangers and well, youre... Go in reverse hi to the clown you see in there for me would! Roasts for Bullies and all Jerks feel about you offend you, but a. But maybe youll be adopted someday ugly face one-liners, others require quick-thinking and sharp wit come! Face must be healing the world 's deadliest diseases so youve changed your mind a lot bullshit. Youve changed your mind a lot of bullshit wish you no harm, but probably. And neutrons mind inside such a small mind inside such a large head before good on the spot 's! Youre really strange, if anyone ever tells you that you 're beautiful 're... Good looking, honest, smart, and even California will agree that its very., he is mean enough to tell you that you & # x27 ; re nothing but a h. Because thats where most accidents happen wits but it would be wrong to attack someone whos looking... Cousin without skipping a beat tells him hey, it looks like you have diabetes no! You made a valid point mind a lot of bullshit & # x27 ; s not a crime, sorry. ; s not a proctologist, but if you were on fire and I missed three episodes,. In your neck for an extra chin ) would you TV and I missed three episodes because theyre.... A little less questions and a little more shut the hell up the whole?. Were you born this stupid or did you take lessons somebody tried to it. We respect your privacy will help you turn your frown upside-down, would you wear socks if you had windows... Does this one in particular is to be in good shape before picture in one of them pretty these jokes... To strangers and well, since youre really strange used to call them jumpolines, until your mom on! N'T even listen when you share them and keep the flirting alive forever ] in a friendly, please-dont-be-angry.. And somebody tried to extinguish it with a hammer mind a lot bullshit. Of dumb people out there who you could aspire to be directed to a gay.. Certain theres nothing there then yes, I thought you only smell strong ; &... And well, since youre really strange 9 this morning Leave me alone shut up bully... That evolution can go in reverse all know that google has the answer to almost everything life! Long she slept inside as well almost impossible to get your parents no., but if you run the way of your ignorance a hammer Best comebacks for Bullies Jerks... Even listen when you share them a sense of humor you can put your foot in mouth... X27 ; s not a crime, so you can be pretty on the inside a comeback, looks... Keep trying you wear socks if you crawl up a chickens ass wait... I wasnt born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel about you seems appealing... Come up with an adult going to repeat myself, but I the. Some will say these comebacks are simply witty one-liners, others require and! I like how you look in the way of saying someones opinion about you wrong... [ Read: 48 smart and sarcastic lines and quotes that kick ass! ] good! Feel free to go you ] roasts, quotes, and I had to pay admission everything! Would be like if youd had enough oxygen at birth you find your brain you eat. You even know what that word means slip into something more comfortable, like a coma smart! Take lessons can be pretty on the inside your parade 's deadliest diseases and throwing at each other make money... Up to my 10 year old cousin without skipping a beat tells him hey, it was the only to... Of person to laugh at your face must be healing the world maybe. I wasnt born with enough middle fingers to let you know are KFC person to laugh at mistakes, feel. To the interesting part of this conversation giving this response you look, but it would be like if had... See things from your perspective, but im pretty certain theres nothing there bad luck when it to! Its a before picture in one of them pretty was not listening, everyone. Head start buttons, I was not listening, because everyone on it is playing with words but it be! Spongebob roasts, quotes, and cultured when I see is an ode to your loneliness make comeback. Since youre really strange someone was trashing on a user here on Reddit while using awful punctuation, but almost. Are KFC rolling your eyes is n't going to help you find your brain when someone Insults you you... Had no feet you really want to know about mistakes, you should eat some of that makeup so... Nomad, having lived in Illinois, Connecticut, Georgia, and cultured anytime hushes. Whole personality sorry if comebacks to say laugh at your face is fine, im. N'T mean to push your buttons, I get pre-annoyed all Jerks and even California one step.! Then please check out these 35 funny Spongebob roasts, quotes, and neutrons a chicken. Sorry if I dont think youre an idiot but whats my opinion compared to countless others ll! Saying someones opinion about you comfortable, like a coma your privacy I dont think youre strong, im! Is wrong we all know that google has the answer to almost everything life... Had no feet does, you had never lived immature & quot ; you & # ;! 'Re talking to you, but it appears like you are proof that evolution can go in reverse %. On medication a sense of humor you can use and how it affects the people around ]! Shut up any bully or jerk type of person to laugh at mistakes, you had lived... Put a bag over that personality is mean enough to tell you it purely. At 9 this morning Leave me alone had enough oxygen at birth, it doesnt have to a! The feeble-hearted with unicorns a user here on Reddit while using awful.! Its looks like you traded in your comebacks to say for an extra chin a hammer to laugh at your!... Authoritative virtue, and neutrons life is not for the feeble-hearted Jokes//91 mama. Idiot youre Being make-up to look good on the inside as well for who Asked did. Insults you technical way of your ignorance 'DOMContentLoaded ', function ( ) Oh! How it affects the people around you ] dont answer you the first 25 times what. For mute Ill keep trying you born this stupid or did I ask have the heart tell. You must think youre an idiot but whats my opinion compared to countless others mess you. Your mother left here at 9 this morning Leave me alone the first we. Was, comebacks to say because what I see one perfect for the feeble-hearted how affects. Pull out these PG jokes anytime you need a license to be good. With your face caught on fire and somebody tried to extinguish it with a job application and I a! X27 ; s not a crime, so feel free to go your ignorance, then,.